When Magic Happens!

7th September, 2015.

In today’s session we only interacted with Ms. Niaz. She critically analyzed our previous blog postings for us reminding us that she was indeed reading them. However, the most important part of this session was that we somewhat brushed upon what we had covered so far in the course. She guided us on how to improve our blogs and conducted an interesting exercise of ‘I am…’ and ‘I want…’ she made us jot down three points in each category and then fold them up into little chits.

The reason why we wrote ‘I am’ and ‘I want’ on the papers was because it was meant to be an act of exploring the deepest (and in some cases darkest) recesses of one’s mind. Theater does that precisely! As I said in one of my earlier postings (or so I believe), theater makes individuals grow in ways nothing else can. It enlightens you, brightens your horizons in ways that surprise even the performers at times. For instance, as I’ve always had an unexplainable fear of performing in front of people in any capacity, I felt completely out of my comfort zone when I was asked to perform a thirty second play in front of my instructors and colleagues in the previous session.

However, I went through this growth like the others around me (I’m sure). As a woman, a student, a performer – all the different faces that make me who I am – I learnt that fear of performing can also be thrilling (it can make one feel like they are on top of the world for just that moment in time when they are being appreciated for their part). In fact, it is not just physically performing that is rewarding but, the art of writing. As I write this I feel like I’ve developed a more fluent and articulate manner than I had in all my earlier posts. Somehow this feels more natural, so is the case with the performing arts. It is very similar to learning a new language (or in most cases, acquiring a first language – as is with toddlers and kids).

As I said before, the ‘I am’ and ‘I want’ activity was an eye opener for me (at least) because it made me feel like perhaps I was a character in a book trying to philosophize my life and make it something special when it is just the small moments of happiness or triumph that make life appreciable. Also, it acted as a mirror for me, a mirror that reflected for me what I either forgot or chose to forget (as we tend to do – it is just one of those human things, wanting to forget what is disagreeable or not-so-interesting to or for us). In a similar fashion does theater also flourish, it acts as that mirror most needed in, by and for society to thrive. For it is with theater that most interesting and often overlooked issues are debated upon. 

The overall experience made me think that if I would have to be found somewhere, where would that be? Where could someone turn to, to find me? Through the I wants and I am’s,  I realized that if I could not be found as a physical being, I could at least be found where magic really happens, in the performing arts – whether they be through the written word or through actually performing something, because at the end of the day that is a part of who I am and to find me, the looker would have to look into all my different faces, even the cowardly performer waiting to be unleashed.